Giving Up vs Following your Dreams

Giving Up vs. Following your Dreams (6-18-2017)

Giving up is and should never be an option. As I mentioned, previously, giving up is a death sentence. Fighting with your heart and dreams is a life sentence.

I cannot emphasize enough the importance of my dreams to me. I’ve always wanted to be a writer and I think I always knew I had that gift or enjoyment to extend the English language, among a few others.

Scary, yet true, following my heart sometimes isn’t easy, but it makes me a very loving person. I am quite a softy, but I am also a fighter with a strong will. Underestimating my loving, strong nature is a mistake.

Though I am following with what makes me happy, I have no regrets. Isn’t happiness the main goal of life? I believe so. Is being rational and happy possible? Yes, but only if being rational is exactly what you wanted in life. I do want to be prosperous. I do want to be in a lovely home that has quite the character. I can just picture driving my mustang and going on a cross country road trip. Being rational to make another happy is justifiable when it involves a child, but it is also possible to follow your dreams, be happy, and make everyone happy in the process. To get those dreams, I listed it will take quite a bit of hard work, but I know it will be worth it. Staying true to yourself and what you believe is most important. Another’s words are not your words. Always follow your gut instinct.

Believe in yourself and keep fighting.

Ethnography-Battle of Gettysburg

Heather Searfoss

6-25-2015

Ethnography Assignment

            “That we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain. That this nation under God shall have a new birth of freedom and that government of the people, by the people, and for the people shall not perish from this earth” is an empowering quote from the Gettysburg Address describing the sight of the landscape after the Battle of Gettysburg from President Abraham Lincoln. For this paper I decided to research the Battle of Gettysburg and it impact it leaves on us Pennsylvania natives because it is a cultural and historic event that each Pennsylvania native knows by heart and I find the history of this particular event fascinating. It is not so much the event overall that leaves the impression but the details from within that tell the true story and leaves the greatest impact.

            As I mentioned earlier, Pennsylvania natives are fluent in knowledge when it comes to Gettysburg because it is within the heart of the state and those who have relatives that either live in the city or fought in the famous battle show their patriotic pride religiously. The city of Gettysburg thrives with the spirit and historic fascination of the Civil War with the colors Union Blue and Confederate Gray lining the streets corners everywhere. The neighborhood is a rustic version of the 1800s with a modern twist because of the new technology and array of automobiles that flow through the city streets each day. Many of the automobiles belong to tourists who come to frolic in the vast history Gettysburg has to offer. Modern scholars however, try to grasp this spirit with academic writings and complicated words to describe the energy and the landscape of the city of Gettysburg. According to author Joseph Pierro “No visitor can help but notice the seemingly schizophrenic nature of the Gettysburg battlefield” (Pierro, 2004) and that is true because the landscape consists of multiple hills and valleys. It makes scholars and even tourists curious as to how the two massive armies were able to fight without confusion or getting lost for that matter because Gettysburg was woods and miles away from huge cities during the 3 days battle. Regardless, scholars still recognize Gettysburg as one of the greatest battles ever fought as Cambridge Journal states “Waterloo Eclipsed!!” (Patterson 1982) which means that the battle was insignificant compared to this incredible battle fought on American soil. And it is on this soil that locals appreciate and stand in awe of the battlefield’s glory.

            “It is a sight to see when you watch the battle unfold before your eyes; it is as if history comes alive in a split second” said local observer Alex Hagadorn after watching the reenactment of the Battle of Gettysburg for the first time. It is silent as the cannons erupt and loud cheers are raised with each order to attack the enemy. The town locals are unaffected by the sounds of bursting cannon fire because it becomes synonymous with everyday life and most of them would be standing in attendance at the battlefield, anyway. Most arrive with cameras in hand and a hat on top to protect themselves from the burning summer sun imagining how the actors feel wearing their tight, cotton uniforms in the blazing heat. The crowd stands in awe as the actors raise their weapons and fire one round and then another within a matter of 5 minutes. The actors push forward as some of their comrades fall from being struck by the never-ending gunfire. The fighting concludes with a silent and respectful meeting of the two army generals to symbol the ending of a gruesome battle. The Battle of Gettysburg has ended. As a Pennsylvania native me, I have visited Gettysburg and I’m always in awe by the beauty of the landscape, but I’ve lacked the opportunity to watch the reenactment for myself. But, it is the effect of such an event that makes spectators and locals want to come back and see history come alive again and again.

            Since the Battle of Gettysburg and the reenactments leave Americans in a state of shock and surprise because of how brutal and significant they were to the building of our country, we begin to wonder what the events really meant and how significant they truly were. The Battle of Gettysburg lasted three grueling days from July 1^st-July 3^rd, 1863. The North was a breath away from losing the Civil War and this one stronghold stood in the way of the North being slaughtered by the Confederate Army. Previously before the war-turning battle, the Confederate Army had conquered at the Battles of Bull Run and the Battle of Chancellorsville. The two battles were huge victories and were perfect for leading the Confederate States of America to victory in the Civil War. But, what does the Battle of Gettysburg mean for the Union Army? In, short terms it meant they had to win at all haste despite the 7,000 casualties suffered throughout the battle. It meant that Ulysses S. Grant did not just have to make decisions, but otherwise make smart ones and critical ones. With the help of the landscape around the town of Gettysburg, the Union Army was able to surprise the Confederate army with numerous attacks and use the large hills such as Cemetery Ridge to their military advantage. The battle was a huge victory for the Union Army and it turned the course of the war along with the Battle of Vicksburg not long after. But, what did the Battle of Gettysburg mean to America? What does it mean to Pennsylvania locals today?

            Well, the Battle of Gettysburg turned the Civil War in favor of the Union Army with the help of the landscape and the tactics used by Ulysses S. Grant and other Union officers. It is because of the Battle of Gettysburg the country witnessed the horror of warfare firsthand and it grew by learning new ways to provide hospitality to the wounded soldiers and to rebuild the country from the ground up. The ways in which citizens could witness the horrors were through the use of photographs and if they were in a town that was geographically close to where a battle had occurred. Unfortunately, for the citizens of Gettysburg they were in the midst of war crossfire between two massive armies. The Battle of Gettysburg left a huge impression on Abraham Lincoln that he delivered the famous speech the Gettysburg Address on the battlefield to commemorate those gave their lives for this great cause. It is also Abraham Lincoln who decided to turn the Gettysburg Battlefield into a national park and cemetery so that others could experience the impact for themselves. But, how does the Battle affect Pennsylvania locals today?

            The battle affects Pennsylvania locals by providing them with a deep respect for Civil War history because shops that sell memorabilia and souvenirs are scattered throughout Central Pennsylvania. The reenactment of the historic battle gives tourists and locals a chance to escape the history books and witness the historic event before their eyes. It provides us as Americans the knowledge to understand how the military was conducted during the 19^th century and gives us a little taste of the experiences locals had as they witnessed the battle unfold in their own backyard. I have visited the battlefield multiple times throughout my life and it never ceases to amaze me how organized and slick the Union Army was in its fight to conquer the Confederate Army and search for victory in the Civil War. I adore history and the spirit and interest showed by the tourists and local community gives you a sense of patriotism and unity. It is amazing how one battle can unite a state and most importantly an entire country simply because it helped end slavery and end the oppression of African Americans throughout the United States of America.

            The Battle of Gettysburg was a supreme triumph for the Union Army in 1863. Over 150 years after the battle commenced, it stills ceases to capture the attention of the country and charm students in their history classes. The research I have conducted for this project is important because when students are learning about the birth and growth of the United States, the Battle of Gettysburg is a critical turning point. It prevented the United States from becoming two separate countries and prevented the threat of slavery from becoming an everlasting issue. It is also important to learn about this battle because it can help students understand the philosophies of citizens during the 19^th century and can help answer questions as to why the Confederate Army did not conquer and why Ulysses S. Grant chose the tactics he did? It provides students also with a taste of military history and how the armed forces were handled during the late 19^th century. The reenactments of the battle provide an in depth view of the military strategies used at the time and allows citizens to have a better understanding of the conditions soldiers faced in the midst of battle. To help students and Americans better understand the Battle of Gettysburg, it would be easier to introduce them to artifacts from the time period and parchments written from witnesses of the battle. This can give a well-rounded approach when learning about this historic battle. In the end, the history of the Battle of Gettysburg  and the reenactments leave spectators awe-struck and students begging for more, but only those who lived through it know the whole story.

Abnormal Normal

Hooker. Racist. Terrorist. Teen mom. Drop-out. Poverty. Good Samaritan Look at these stereotypes. No, really look. No one can say that this doesn't define what normal is in our 2017 society.

Now how and why do we see our society like this? Does this mean that you or I abide by one or more of these stereotypes? And if we do, does that mean we are failures at life or geniuses? But, I guess we should start with how and why society is viewed this way.

How is society viewed this way? It's because of the media, mostly. Why? Because the media is manipulative, deceitful, and attention-seeking. It manipulates the minds of society to believe every, yes EVERY single word that is either typed, printed, or said. Now, how is that not deceitful? Oh, it is very deceitful!!!! It's beyond deceitful; it's despicable and pathetic. And we all know that pathetic is attention-seeking, especially if it's over something that is not the end of the world or if it's not as dramatic as the pages depict.

Or is society viewed this way because of what we say? What!?! Yes, that is called rumors. That is called lies. That is called hearsay. That is called prejudice. You're probably thinking "Hell no I'm not prejudice. I don't judge anyone." Yeah. yeah. yeah. We are all prejudice and we judge everyone we come into contact with studying them and figuring out what their deal is. I know I have been judged and truthfully, most of the judgment I've received was critical judgment that allows me to grow in a positive direction. I'm not saying me being bullied was critical judgement; that was more or less a chance for others to discourage me. But, let me tell you it didn't work!!!! HA HA HA!!!

But anyways, stereotypes are so ridiculous that it makes me sick when I hear them or when someone compares me to them. Am I a Racist because I don't know about the group Black Lives Matter? No it's because I have no clue what it's about and I'm staying neutral on the matter. Am I a teen mom because I had my daughter at 22 while I was still in college? Umm as a matter of fact I had her, graduated from Penn State University less than 3 months later, and now I am working 2 jobs to take care of her. Am I a drop-out? No. Am I a hooker? No. Am I a Good Samaritan? Yes, I believe I am because I love to volunteer and help others and fight for what is right even though sometimes the right path is not the easiest one.

Does this mean I'm a failure at life or a genius? Well, thus far in life I've made many mistakes and I've experienced humility and personal disgrace along with successes and triumphs. During those mistakes, I failed at life, but if it wasn't for those mistakes I wouldn't be learning to make things right. Realizing that, makes me a genius, but a learning genius at that. You learn something new everyday. So never and I mean never think you know absolutely everything. No one does.

So short, sweet and to the point, I think I've made my argument about the abnormal, normal society we live in and how we, yes WE define it and how it got to be defined this way!

Night Prowlers

So I sorta feel like a freak. Why? Because I love to take nightly drives. Technically I should be asleep, but what happens when you don't sleep and your mind starts wandering wondering what to do, how to do it, and what you should do to make you tired. Ever felt like this? I know I have.

The simple thing I do is take a small drive or maybe a long drive because it allows me to be free. Allows me to think and not worry too much about every other psycho thing in life. So to express how I feel about taking nightly drives I decided to write a poem----this relates to one of the nightly drives I took when I was in college and it brings me back to peace and tranquility. What brings your mind to ease?

The Night Prowler (1-30-2017)

Basking in the darkness

Yes, basking in darkness

Surrounded in the darkness

Trembling in the shadows.

Alive, yes, I’m alive

Crowded in the notes

An amateur vocalist triumphs

In her shadowy hoax.

Who dares threaten me

To destroy my power

In this confined space

This the darkest hour.

The shadows they cower

My voice raises higher

This is my moment

Of sheer human power.

Surrounded in the black

Wrapped in the shadows

I howl to them

Eyes of the meadows.

No fear compels me

The melody consumes me

The stars shine almighty

No fear consumes me.

Basking in the glory

I’ve won the battle

No blood, no gore

Just teeth and chatter.

Pray on the night

I must, must survive

Face, yes, face me

The prowler comes alive.

Sacrifice Defined

Sacrifice can be defined by any number of things. What you do? How you do it? These two things define sacrifice to me. With these two characteristics you define what sacrifice means to you and shows the world who you are.

Sacrifice is defined as "the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim." (Dictionary.com) Sound frightening, doesn't it? To give up something for something more important. What a thought!

Now that was just a dictionary/ direct definition of sacrifice. But let me tell you what sacrifice means to me and how I define it.

Sacrifice means showing the people you love how much you love them by giving up what is material and sometimes what is important for you. Since I started dating Alex Hagadorn in 2011 and since I became a mother last year I understand sacrifice beyond comprehension. I didn't worry too much about material things or expensive belongings because I wanted to make sure everyone I loved was taken care of. I'd stay up late doing schoolwork and working long hours so that me and my loved ones could spend time together and that our daughter had every joy and comfort that a little girl needs and deserves growing up. Bills were a given and food was a given but in my mind those were things that needed to be taken care of.

The first thing that comes to my mind is my family. Nothing else. As long as they have what they need to live, to survive, to enjoy life then I was contented. I've worked so many long hours and experienced so many sleepless nights so that I could provide for my family I didn't even bother keeping count----too many that's what!!!!! I've even sold my own belongings so that my family could thrive and have food on the table. Every penny is counted for and used and if some money if left over after all that (which is a luxury within itself) then I use the money for something productive that I know I can use in the future.

Speaking of the future, time itself can be a useful outlet for sacrifices. Take me for example, I use my time to be productive whether it's writing an article or blog like I am now, taking a stroll around the block to stay in shape, or planning my day-to-day schedule so I stay in control. Time is a precious thing and you never know how much you will have left on this earth. If I have the opportunity to relax or take a nap (which is very rare for me) it doesn't come without a tidal wave of guilt following because I could of used my time to a more constructive task such as me gathering research for my upcoming books. So----I will sacrifice that time I could use resting and put more focus towards a constructive outlet instead.

Now----How do I do it? Well, it's quite simple really. I just do it. Balance the odds I call it. Would you rather have your child starving and not have anywhere to live or would you rather have her healthy and thriving like you were as a baby? To me that's an easy choice. My daughter, Alex, and our families will always come first to me----regardless of anything else. Sounds pretty straight forward, doesn't it? Well, when you re a parent IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE. It's not called sacrifice unless you give up something that was once important to you or even not as important to you ( luxuries) and giving it up for something grander and even more valuable than your wants.

I think I've nailed down sacrifice, don't you? Now if you have no idea what sacrifice means or what it entails to make sacrifices then by golly you have not lived or struggled. Sacrifices are not supposed to be easy and they are not supposed to be fun-----HELLO! THAT'S WHY THEY ARE CALLED SACRIFICES!!!!!!!! NOT LUXURIES.  Now if your sacrifices benefit you in the long run then they can turn around and morph into luxuries but until then you have to make them every step of the way.

Another way on how to do it is by swallowing your pride, keeping your head high, and striding with your dignity intact by working as hard as you can. Believe me sometimes I feel like giving up and throwing everything away because I feel like my hard work will not amount to anything, but every time I think of Elayne, her daddy, and our families I push harder and my drive is even stronger. It's easier said than done I know but you have to have that drive to keep you going; to keep you motivated. That hard work will get you to a better place believe me----I wouldn't be where I am today if I didn't work my ass off.

I keep my dignity intact by keeping a positive attitude and treating everyone with respect. I never let anyone take pity on me because I don't need pity----pity parties are for those who don't give a damn and want the world to show them mercy and love. I completely understand that some people get into a rut and it's very, very difficult to get out. I have been there--- BELIEVE ME!!!! And if someone does give you pity then let that motivate you to get better and get to a better place. Like I said I swallow my pride and let my hard work speak for itself-----and believe me my hard work, my passion, my drive will speak for itself. If that doesn't surmount to anything then you are not the motivation I need.

Boom Sacrifice has been defined!!!! For me at least, how about you?

The White House Files

So does anyone ever wonder what Area 51 is? What's possibly hidden in there? Do most Americans know how the protocol for the 'line of succession' works if the President died? Did you know that the Executive Branch does not live in the same White House that was built over 300 years ago? Do you know that some of our Presidents were part of a secret society known as the 'Free Masons'?

So many questions......yet very few answers.

I've made it my mission to explore these questions and our presidential history and pull up the secrets that linger beneath the soil, the gravel, the concrete walls of our beloved Washington estate. I've created my own theories after extensive research and hours plucking through books and magazines. Sometimes I think my head might explode due to the amount of information I pull up and the possibilities that are unearthed.

Now do not think I am jumping into a psycho crazy illusion believing everything I read. I only get my information from esteemed sources and I use my own educational knowledge to piece together the truth. I do not plan to exaggerate my claims and I do not plan to seek praise for what I believe and hypothesize. And also do not believe that I am starting my journey from now to then. To understand the past and how it stills lingers in the present, we need to start there.


I plan to start my journey in the so called 'Revolutionary Period' of the 1700s because that is where the presidency started. 1789 to be exact with our first President, George Washington, and then work my way down to our President-elect Donald Trump. And no I won't be discussing political squabbles unless they serve a particular relevance to how America is where she is today. And I plan to make this expose bi-partisan in my intentions and arguments because it's better to see both sides than one side of history.

This expose may take weeks, months, or maybe even years for my to write and type up.......So why am I talking it now? So you my followers may anticipate and revel in excitement as to when it will be published or hopefully, released to more readership.

Let's see America's patriotic secrets and dig up our Four Fathers again!!

Blonde Petticoat Empowerment

To all you women out there....do you ever feel as if men don't understand what you face on a daily basis? Do you ever feel men need to be in your shoes and see the adversity, the criticism, the vulgar remarks you experience on a daily basis? Oh believe me I understand and I'm simply a woman who has been through just that. Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I don't have a voice!

On a daily basis when I walk out in public or when I simply go to my second job I am stared at like I'm a helpless puppy who has no way to defend herself, someone who has no powerful voice, a woman with the body to bewilder any man who looks at her. Dudes back off!!! I am happily taken and I have a distinct future that can outlast yours....all you need do is watch me prove you wrong.

                                      I defend who I am as a woman and as a hard ass worker.
I don't put on clothes to attract others; I wear clothes because I am conserving the dignity and the decency I have inside me. I am not one to flaunt the body I have because the only one who will see it is the man I see as the one for me. I see it as a disgrace for women to dress inappropriately and beg for a man to take their virtue away from them. I mean heaven forbid....your virtue is sacred!!!! Though I do not have my virtue anymore, I have given it to a man I love and it is his forever; my actions show the world that I am a faithful, respectful woman who loves once and done. Sacred!

I do not work 2 jobs and participate in the community being charitable and inspiring others just because I'm bored with my life and that I don't give two blah blahs about what happens to me. I don't write my articles and blogs because my words are fruitless and that they don't have any power to influence. I work 2 jobs because I have a family to support. I am involved in the community because I give a damn about those who need help and I want my legacy to show that I gave what I could to make a difference in the world and inspire others to do the same. I write my poems, my thoughts, my dreams out on parchment, through these blogs so that the world can see the world through my eyes. I want them to feel what I have seen through each vein and nerve in their bodies.
                                    Did you feel that burn of guilt?
                                                   If you did, you know me,what I've seen, and you feel you can do more. If you didn't, then you need to open your eyes because you have no idea what the world can be like; the horrors it holds.

I may be blonde but I am sure's hell not dumb. If you look at my words throughout my blogs and if you listen to the language I use day-to-day you obviously can tell I'm well-educated. As I tell my fellow friends and co-workers I know more about the British monarchy and American history than I know about our own present government (So much changing it's almost impossible to keep up anymore). Along with my language my knowledge is vast and stretches farther than most believe.....Take herbal/ old world medicine, take algebra, take kinesiology, take geology, take philosophy, take adolescent psychology.......this is just some of the multiple subjects I have studied throughout my life thus far along with history. Mind blown yet? So yes, if you think I am your average blonde, you're dead wrong.....I'm not average; I'm not even above average; I'm in a class of my own!

So if you read the title of this post......it says Blonde Petticoat Empowerment.......well, as I said I am blonde, I am what most would consider a petticoat who needs a man to lead her and who can't defend herself, and I am empowered hence the post and somewhat of a rant of being strong woman who works hard to provide for the ones she loves and to secure the future she knows she deserves.

                                         Who is this Blonde Petticoat Empowerer? ME!!!! That's who!