Diary Entry of a Working Mother

"Another day another dollar. Another day another poopy diaper. Another day I scream and mutter. Another day I beg for help....for this working mother. I clean and wash. I type and write. I sleep 4 hours. I think and fight. I work steady shifts. I'm paid by the hour. I've got no quarrel. I just need a shower. I live by my planner. I live for my child. I've buried my priorities. They've been there awhile. I pray for blessings. I give all I have. I save every penny made. To her on my behalf. Her presence is my joy. His presence is my soul. The future is my promise. To make it true and make it bold. So from these words you see I'm a working mother indeed. I know sacrifice. I know faith. I know love. I know fate. But here you will know what I have become through the blood, sweat, and tears that I've run."- Heather Searfoss, 12/29/2016


A working mother is someone who I idolized all my life. The person who I knew I wanted to grow up to become. As a child I witnessed what hard work was and how it would be a part of my future.

I don't remember asking my parents why they worked so late and I don't remember asking them why they looked so tired. I think I always knew. I do remember asking them though why do you do the jobs you do? Why are you a police officer? I'd ask my dad or why are you a nurse? I'd ask my mom and the simple answer I got was  "because I want to help people, it's a job that I love, and it's provides for you and Kyle." Well, that settled anymore questions about their jobs really. It also got me thinking about what I wanted to become growing up. I envisioned a nurse like my mom or a storm chaser like on the weather channel......two professions I obviously didn't become.

When I got to high school I began to think of becoming a doctor, like the one who performed my spinal fusion in 2008, or to become a chef because I loved to cook, or to become a lawyer, a job that is scholarly, well-paid, and a safer complimentary alternative to my dad's law enforcement career. All seemed to be good options but then I was thrown the curveball that maybe I shouldn't attend college......maybe it was just a waste of time or maybe it may not get me to where I want to be. Well, my dreams and goals talked louder than that option so I blew it off and submitted my application to Penn State University, where I attended for 4.5 years and graduated with a Bachelor's Degree in Humanities majoring in Communications/PR. It was the most grueling, longest, toughest, most amazing, most valued, most memorable, most tearful, most aggravating 4.5 years of my life. Now that doesn't seem like fun but let me explain to you the facts of why it was like this. I took full class loads every semester even during one summer semester (which is 4+ classes, 12 credits+), I worked between 1-3 jobs throughout school saving up as much as I could and experiencing the joys of being young, I made and met so many amazing friends and people I can't count them all, and I was introduced to some of the most incredible, scholarly, innovative, and experienced professors I have ever met. 3 of my favorites in particular were Catherine McCormick (Photography, Writing for the Media, Media Management), Amy Sauertieg (Public Relations, Event Planning, and PR Strategies), and Richard Pierce (Psychology 101, Adolescent Psychology). I was also involved with fundraising events on campus such as Santa for Soldiers, Toys for Tots, and Alternative Spring Break, which were life-changing experiences because you truly realize how lucky you are. I also worked behind the scenes to apply for internships/ externships, write new poems/ short stories, publish my poetry and written works with local publishers, and start to plan out the publishing of my work in progress: In the Gladiator's Eye. Sound intimidating enough?

Well, this is all before and during my adventure of becoming a mother. It sounds so ridiculous but I did all of that with fate, criticism, and doubt going against me. I cracked under pressure a few times but let me tell you all the hellfire I faced was well worth it. I balanced jobs back and forth. I applied anywhere and everywhere I could. I admit I made quite a few mistakes, some I do regret but then again how did I end up where I am now? Through the turmoil I came out on top stronger than I was before, more confident, brighter, and curveball ready. Now you are probably asking yourself where does being a mother fit into this? Well, read what I wrote and imagine being pregnant with a baby, delivering that miracle, and having to face all of that tumultuous stuff. Does that answer your question? Simply it wasn't easy. At points it was fun and other points were like wishing you were 6 feet under ground at that exact moment. But, I promise you I am alive and well. But now I guess you are wondering where am I now?

Well, I am a recent graduate of Penn State University. May 8th, 2016 to be exact. (My daughter was born February 2016.) I am an employee of a government IT distributor and I am a social media wizard. I have my own blog : http://soccerxlspsu.blogspot.com/ and I have a professional Facebook page where I list and post my latest writings, articles, and poems. I am on the volunteer committee for the non-profit organization, The Peyton Walker Foundation, which brings awareness to sudden cardiac arrest and plans out the organizations fundraisers, heart screenings, and events for the upcoming year. I am about to be published in my 4th Best Poets of the Year (2011, 2012, 2013, and 2016) by Eber & Wein Publishing and I am currently working on 3 books that are works in progress that I plan to have published soon. I am a mother of a beautiful 10 month old baby girl and in my spare, rare time I run, I take photos, I read history books, I watch documentaries, and I listen to rock music. So you can definitely not say that I am lagging behind or that fate is not in my favor. I will counteract that and make everyone take a second look. If this hasn't done so, I'm sorry but you'd have to meet me in person to truly understand.

But like I said being a working mom has its ups and it's downs and sometimes it can make you go psychotic. But regardless of your mental stature I highly recommend that you do not and I repeat do not judge a mother that you see on the street regardless of what her age might be because you will and may never know or understand what she had to do to get to where she is today. Granted I didn't put details into this entry and no I didn't break the law. But I will tell you that I did sell some of my things and worked double, sometimes triple shifts, so that I could give my baby girl clothes and food. Though I was not a working mother who had to beg for money or beg for food or even go to the local well and bring a bucket of water back, I do however, understand the sacrifices needed for a mother to provide for a child and bring him/ or her a healthy life. A reality some can't comprehend but I'll leave that up to you to judge. In simple terms being a working mother is hard, it's exhausting, and it is one of life's greatest joys. It makes life worth living and it makes the memories all the more sweeter. So cheers to being a working mom!!!!!

Holy Lights, Camera, Action!!!!!

 Okay so this post is gonna be short sweet and to the point because I'm hot. I am red-fire, steaming hot and all I really need to say is : Holy Lights!!!! Holy Camera!!! Holy Action!!!!

Yes I just said that! This is what Christmas is like now compared to a quaint night at home baking cookies and spending time with the family. I don't even know what to think about society anymore considering we are supposed to be above average than previous generations and we can't figure out what's important in out lives anymore! Yikes!!!
Now let me get something straight, I spend every Christmas with my family and we unwrap presents and we spend as much time together as possible during the holiday season while dodging work, school, and other day-to-day worries. But for society it seems like money talks and that watching commercials and getting the latest deals at the store is where the love is at. What? No. No No No. Who really cares if you get presents? Who cares if you get a turkey? And who cares if you don't buy anything for someone else? Christmas should never, ever, ever be about getting presents or bulking up on gifts. When I was a child, I didn't understand that really. All I knew was that Santa was on his sleigh and was going to drop tons of presents on me for that Christmas, but now that I'm older and have a daughter I've changed. I am more compassionate about being with my family and giving my daughter the best and meaningful Christmas every year. That's where the love is. That is where the magic is. And that is what I plan to celebrate every year. If your Christmas is looking more like Holy Lights!!!! Holy Camera!!!! Holy Action!!!! Then I think it's time you should consider what is important in your life. Presents? or Family?

Family Importance

I have learned that when you become a parent your child becomes your world. It is horrible to think that any parent could overlook how precious his/ or her child is just to pretend that they don't exist. Since my daughter was born February 23rd, 2016 her and her daddy have been the joys of my life and each day I thank God for bringing them to me and making each day a blessing. I can't put into too many words how much I love them but I can use few words to make a simple impact.

My daughter, Elayne Rose Hagadorn, is an incredible blessing. She came out of nowhere and now I can't imagine my life without her. Her daddy feels the same way. He adores our daughter and he works hard every single day to spoil his little princess. Her family adores her and wants to hold her every time they see her. It's some times hard to see her held by another because you want to yourself. It's a jealousy streak we parents have because our child is so precious.

The way she coos is calming and the way she smiles is daunting. The way she says 'da da' is funny and the way she says 'ma ma' is cozy. I know I sound like a mom who is head over heals in love with her baby girl but believe me once you see her you will too! Now as I said I can't constantly repeat the same phrases over and over again because it doesn't get straight to the point and it only gives an overview of how much I love my daughter, her daddy, and his family.


Lover's Grace (11-22-2016)

My heart blossoms openly
as our eyes meet
I cannot bear distance
from our lover's feat.

Fear grips my soul
of losing it all
not just the memories
but future's warm call.

My love remains true
my passion is steadfast
Faithful in our love
hoping it to last.

We've experienced the bad
grown in the good.
Raptured in each moment
as true couples should.

With our little bear
I made a promise
that I shall keep
no exceptions to this.

"One father she'll have
a warm, faithful mother
For all infinite time
not one, no other."

The strength within me
holds long and true
this love is timeless
and so are you.

Your family guides me
valued advice educates me
I've swallowed all pride
grateful for helping me.

I hope we grow
basking in our smiles
Living for our baby
through all the trials.

Like my promise before
the stars you are
has captured my star
and stolen my heart.

Forever and ever more my little family with be the star-crossed loves of my life and they are worth every sacrifice and every trial I have to experience to make sure they are given the best future. It is not easy being a parent and having a family because it is the key time in life where you need and have to put your family before yourself to get further and makes dreams bigger. I know I sound like a preacher that's giving advice to the choir but once you have a family of your own you will understand sacrifice and understand responsibility. When I first found out I was having a baby girl I cried and I felt I wasn't ready but now that she is here and gloating in her good health and I now want her to thrive and have an incredible life. With her and her daddy there I feel I can do anything because they keep driven to fight more, to push more, and to dream more. Once you have a family your set. Remember family is forever.

A Sin Amongst Humanity

Through the darkness tears fall of the little angels whose hearts have been broken. Not by the typical tragedy stories but their own peers and loved ones. What is the sin, you ask? Well my friends and colleagues that sin is bullying. Bullying is a crime that strips the innocent of confidence and self-worth and replaces it with destruction, confusion, rage, rebuttal, and sadness. A trait that some bullies thrive on and never notice until karma whips them back. I've known bullying all my life. I've experienced it first-hand and was given an insight as to how cruel the world can be to those who cannot fight back. Til 2011 I've been afraid. From then I grew up. I've changed.  Now it's over.

Throughout my childhood I lived a typical normal life. I had parents and a little brother whom I loved with all my heart. I was active in extracurricular activities and I excelled in my academics. Though from the surface all seemed to be fine and it seemed as if I was destined for a bright future regardless of where it led me. But to some it would of been a tragedy if I succeeded in my goals. I treated everyone with respect and I played like every child would but then it came. The names. The names. The torture of being called names.

I was a horse to some people
and a jackass to others.
I was a girl who had no friends
in a world full of troubles.

I tried to change my look
and even what I wore.
To stand in the crowd.
Just for someone to adore.

When I suffered they cheered.
When I cried they cheered.
I'd look away for one moment
and they'd sneer, sneer, and sneer.

I hid away broken
eating all I could
To break their cruelty
plan the death I should.

I hated the world
I had no will living
These jerks so cruel
Are they happy with sinning?

Sometimes I can't forgive
The remarks are stained
In my brain and my mind
To them I'm just the same.

As I grew I matured
Into a woman smart and bold
those who doubted me
Some lies you told.

Looking back I smile
I crack one each time
for I have a good heart
I'm stronger and refined.

Here I present my struggles during my years of bullying and how I grew over the years. I matured into a woman who is now thriving in her youth, her family, and her career path. I'm the living proof that even though you are bullied and doubted by some you can still become successful and live a tremendous life. Forget what others say. Stand for what you believe in and together we can subdue this sin amongst humanity.

Save the Animals for Our Children

Animals are people so I've been told so why do some humans not understand this logic. It's as if the human race doesn't understand that animals have feelings and that they are living beings who should be treated with respect. It is a horrific reality to see majestic animals that I have grown up with such as elephants, rhinos, and even snow leopards disappear before my very eyes. I say that we as a society should take a stand and end animal cruelty and poaching before it decimates our children's chance to bask in their majestic existence and the simple goodness that animals bring to the earth.

According to DoSomething.Org, "At the beginning of the 20th century there were a few million African elephants and approximately 100,000 Asian elephants. Today elephants are now considered endangered, there are about 450,000-700,000 African elephants and 35,000-40,000 Asian elephants." (DoSomething 11 Facts) From this statistic alone, we can see how poaching and hunting animals has gotten out of control. When I was growing up, I idolized animals and felt they were very kind and a very devoted species to their families. I saw pictures of the mothers with their babies and I always hoped one day I would be able to see them up close and capture the reality of their size. My parents told me I saw them as a kid when I was very young but I don't remember anything of elephants or animals really until I went to Disney World in the year 2000. I went down to Disney World in the year 2000 and that's when I actually remember getting to see these majestic beauties up close. On the ride Kilimanjaro Safaris, the tour guide let the guests know that elephants are very endangered along with the black rhinos, lions, and hippos.  As a kid, I didn't really know much about poaching or saving animals but when I got older my whole outlook changed.

Animals are living beings that give the younger generation something to learn about and something to spark their creativity. It gives the adults a chance to revisit their childhood and spark memories for their children. Since animals have feelings and have families of their own, how are they not people?
Yes, I do understand that they have fur on most of their bodies and that they don't talk in a language that we humans can understand but that is no excuse to poach them and treat them as if they don't suffer. I mean if anyone hurt my child who is so precious to me I would defend her and make sure who ever tried to inflict pain on her would get punishment and sent to jail. I would make sure she knows what love is and that she will always be loved no matter what she chooses in her life. Animals should be the same way. They know pain and they know what it is like to fight to survive in the wild.

In conclusion, if society doesn't stop poaching or destroying an animal's habitat then children and citizens in the future may never be able to hear a lion's roar or see an elephant in it's wild habitat. It's a tragic shame that I must post such a direct message of animal cruelty to you all but we must save the animals for our children. Save the opportunity for them to experience the magic of wildlife and to love animals in the process. So I will say clearly and passionately, Animals are people too! Stop Poaching!!!!!

https://www.dosomething.org/us/facts/11-facts-about-poaching-animals

Writing promotes philosophy? Writing is philosophy!

Writers are the best philosophers because they have a vast vocabulary and they have a broad knowledge of multiple subjects instead of narrowing on a particular. They have a very peculiar outlook on life and no matter what the situation or subject is they DO UNDERSTAND but they see it in a way that others do not. Sometimes I feel like I'm smarter than the average bear if they don't see it through my eyes. This is the opinion of a writer. Myself.

I consider those who reach beyond their expertise and reach beyond their limits on parchment are indeed philosophers. I just happen to be one of them. I take on the world like any other woman and like any person, who has just graduated college, I'm trying to make a name for herself in the world. But I have already made a name for myself. Not on a trophy or an award per say but on this piece of electronic parchment and the other pieces of parchment I have written on, published, or in case typed.

My name, a person's name, or even a fictional being can be made without any significant events. I sign my name on papers and applications all the time and every time I can tell it is not the same 

as the signature before. A good analogy to this is that my writing or focus of writing is always different. I could write a thriller story about a mysterious murder and then other times just rant on like a lunatic whose had too much booze to swallow. But I guess that is how you stand out from others in society. You have to be that lunatic. I am that lunatic. Never in a million years would I say that I am a lunatic but when it comes to writing passionately about things that no one else understands I might as well have a mental illness.

Now don't think that just because I said I am a lunatic that I am one or that any writer is psycho crazy. We each have our viewpoints and we want to grasp an audience that shares our viewpoints and will hopefully share them with the world. Most people think we have irrational minds or that we don't read the lines. Actually we do read the lines but we sometimes sneak in some statements that come from between the lines too so that the person we are talking to or the topic we are discussing has a joint standard. The joint standard simply means that the argument or declaration we are making has more than one attitude and it becomes the reader's decision on where it leads. Though not all writers provide the opportunity of joint standard to peek out in their writings we are open to other's opinions and we accept their feedback as their own philosophies. Capital idea to respect another's writing, isn't it?

For my writing personally I accept compliments and criticism no matter how angelic or vulgar. I respect all opinions from all walks of life and it never seizes to amaze me the multiple viewpoints society has. Though I may not agree with all of them and I cannot clearly see the vison I do try and get a grasp on them and get a better explanation or thought process. By keeping the open mind, I do become inspired by the multiple comments and the multiple possibilities around me to think outside the box. As I've said throughout college and as I'm saying now writers are philosophers and being a writer you have to accept that there is no finish line. If you set a finish line you won't get much of anywhere. If no line is drawn then the universe is yours.

Reliving Colonial America?

After countless hours of researching, watching documentaries, and gathering multiple comments and feedback from social media I've come to the conclusion or analogy that we are somewhat reliving history.

Since this election started, accusations and distrust have plagued America and its citizens. it reminds me of when I learned about the Salem Witch Trials of 1693 when Puritan citizens would accuse each other of witchcraft and consulting with the devil or in America's case immoral views (witchcraft) and political advisors (demons/ "The Devil"). The Salem Witch Trials teared through colonial America and consumed the lives of almost 50 people; this did not include the lives taken during the 300 years of witch trials in Europe.

Since the election race has begun Americans have chosen sides and accused each other of immoral crimes of which I shall not disclose and disseminating the goals that each candidate has to improve the "land of the dream". It's like a tug of war. It's like we've traveled back to the time of suspicion and treason and dug ourselves a hole that we may never get out of.

I don't know why this election isn't like the rest. Maybe it's because I do not favor either candidate but as an Independent and an independent thinker I favor my moral beliefs and causes more and I stand by what I believe in without choosing a side. Maybe it's because I have more fear in this election than any other because I fear that either way the river runs we will lead our country towards destruction or another civil war. I do not know the future or what it entails. All I know is that we may be reliving a dark time in American history.

Do we truly have freedom?

Do we really have the same rights as we did over 200 years ago? Do we have the same freedom we did 10 years ago? Do we even have the same of both that we did even a year ago? That's an argument that even my knowledge can't answer. And I'm not sure I'd be able to give a solid answer.

To understand this posting, we'd have to go back to when the Sandy Hook tragedy happened and the aftermath argument that got Americans questioning whether it is safe to own or sell guns. I think it is understandable why that matter raised its head but I still think that we as a society need to know that it's not the guns that cause the problem but the person who handles it. But to read more about my opinion of this matter please read the newest issue of the odyssey online

The British Monarchy: Who Is to Rule?

So while searching for my photography notebook, I came across a relatively new issue of People magazine and it stated that Charles was going to renounce his title of King of England and that William and Kate were going to take over when Queen Elizabeth II steps down or passes away. I read the article with immense interest and it seemed plausible because considering the age of the Queen of England and that Prince Charles is in his mid-sixties; it seems rational that the modern generation would take over. But, then you have to think about the traditions that the monarchy upholds. Each sovereign that enters the role of King or Queen must make a vow to serve its subjects for life and turn in their reins for a normal life. That particular issue gave me chills because Charles has prepared his entire life beginning at birth to rule over the country of England and its 16 commonwealths which boasts a staggering population of over 140 million people. That's quite a responsibility!!!! Not only to mention that they have to maintain alliances with multiple countries around the world, including the United States.

But, some subjects speculate that Charles is not ready or even capable to run the British establishment and this is partially due to the fact that his marriage to Diana, Princess of Wales, broke down and that he admitted to convoluting with Camilla Parker-Bowles during the years they were married. I don't think his relationships have anything to do with running a country and nor should it be considered as a requirement or standard for a royal personnel. Even though, I personally believe that Charles and Diana should have stayed together for the sake of the monarchy and then possibly she would still be alive today. But truthfully who knows? I also personally think that Charles having the illicit affair with Camilla during his marriage to Diana was unacceptable because it shows that cheating is acceptable. The royal family, however, seemed to find it acceptable considering previous royalty have taken mistresses/ lovers in the past and also, it seemed to be the only sure fire way to keep their marriage intact. But, it also seemed to give both the Prince and Princess a great deal of sympathy towards their tumultuous marriage which was slowly deteriorating into madness and was exaggerated immensely by the press editors.

But, simply my argument or point for that matter is that there is no clear evidence that Charles is going to step down from taking the throne when the Queen leaves her post. it seems plausible but more evidence needs to be extracted and perhaps a one-on-one interview with the Prince of Wales himself would be helpful, too. To elaborate my argument even further I have attached an article from BBC News so you can make your own judgment calls on who is to rule the country and be heir to the throne.

http://www.bbcamerica.com/anglophenia/2011/04/could-prince-william-become-king-instead-of-prince-charles/

Are we a danger to ourselves?

So I'm sure everyone has heard of the terrorist attacks in Nice, France. That is a tragedy beyond comprehension. I feel that mankind has themselves to blame for this atrocity because there seems to be no control over anything anymore. Has anyone noticed that since the beginning of World War one till now we have experienced epic turmoil inside the United States and around the world? The last time we had a true era of peace was when......???? Hmm I can't really think of an exact era because I don't think that there ever was one.

The attacks in France are just the beginning of a 3rd World war and I know from following history and doing my own extensive research on America's past that every country will get involved so that humanity can go back to its " semi-peaceful" ways. And I say semi- peaceful because everyone has their prejudices and their opposing opinions and no one is going to agree on every decision that others make. Do I feel we need to go to war? Not exactly. The only reason I feel America or any country should go to war is if and only if its lands are attacked and civilian lives are lost without cause. France has two distinct reasons to go to war with ISIS but it is up to its president to call that shot since I have no political power. But, I think these attacks teach us a hardcore lesson about life.

Trust is a very fragile thing and you can't just give it away willy nilly. Trust cannot be given immediately and nor can it be given to those who intend to betray it, but that is not something you can judge or prepare for because once you give the trust it is the beholders decision to do with it what they will. But, giving trust is a very dangerous risk especially when it comes to foreign affairs because once you give it you never know if it will be given back in return. You can count your blessings and sing the Hail Mary's from the Bible but only fate or allies can really save you from those choices.

Baptism under fire

So it has been said that pride is a weakness and the ambition is a sin. Well, both are very true but both are also not true and the reason for this is point of view and perception. Pride is a weakness of the soul when we look to boasting our accomplishments and looking to the future instead of being humble and looking back to where we once we're and being thankful for the trials it took to get to where we are. Never let pride blind you or over shadow the past because without the past you wouldn't have a future. Now ambition can be just as sinful as pride because if you are too ambitious it can lead you down the path of enemies and disloyalty and treachery. We are want to reach higher and obtain goals that give us the future and opportunities we desire but we tend to lose who we are as individuals when doing so. That is a problem that our society still faces and why personality tends to change with the decisions we make. The percaptions of others can also backfire if you come across with a negative, arrogant attitude. So if we show pride in our accomplishments and we are ambitious to keep going, when is it time to say enough? Or when is it time for us to realize we've lost ourselves? Here is a quote from the film Rocky Balboa, that may get you to think. "Pride is what got your ass out of here and pride is what brought you back. People like you need to be tested. There is always someone out there. Always. When you find yourself in a position where you have a force that's hitting on you, that ain't running, that ain't stopping, and ain't backing down and you are struggling and you're too damn tired to breathe. You find yourself in that situation that's good cause that's baptism under fire. Do you agree?

Ring Those Church Bells

BANG. BANG. BANG. Damn Carrie Underwood knows what women face when they are in an abusive relationship. Her new song 'Church Bells' sums it all up beautifully. Those men who give in to alcohol and substance abuse have destroy any opportunity to live in peace and harmony. A shot won't make you smarter and getting smashed won't make you any happier.

It is has been proven many, many times that alcohol is a depressant and it is a demon to all. Hence I myself do not drink because I have seen with my own eyes what it does and how it can conform an individual's mind so drastically that society can only see there ugly side. Who the hell ever invented alcohol and devised the idea that getting drunk is a specialty is out of their senses!!!!!! A little food for thought........your brain doesn't stop growing till the age of 21 but your intelligence suffers when you abuse the life your parents gave you with "luxuries", do you think that's right? You tell me.

What do you think is important?

Fair hair. Blue eyes. Sexy curves. Okay..........so all these things define women today. How is it that looks are the most important thing in a person's life? Me? I love food. I rapture in looking good but personally I'd rather feel good. I would honesty rather spend all day in sweatpants with my family consisting of my significant other and other daughter whom I love with all my heart. But looks seem to destroy how the country perceives people including our presidential candidates.

When Donald Trump started to run for president each and every citizen maybe even a few overseas started to fantasize and/ or criticize about his hair. I mean his hair might be fair and he might be a dog-on millionaire but can we please listen to his voice instead of pinpointing what is not required to run for president of the United States. I mean, really is his hair going to jump off of his head and shed hairballs when we collapse into a war? Is his hair going to sparkle when he is elected? Those this questions are rhetorical.....I'm confident the answer speaks for itself. I'm also sure that Hillary and Bernie do not have the critical appearance cracks that Trump has.

So far as Bernie and Hillary are concerned I have not heard anything concerning their appearances in the media but all I've heard is scandalous acts committed by these two candidates. But who knows if these are true? What if they are an attack on their reputation and it is designated to pierce a wound so they can never be elected or run a country? Hmmm.....some mystery...huh?    Let this be a lesson don't believe everything you hear because damn rumors are annoying.

Voices are heard and remembered

            So backing away from politics and entering a more realistic sense of the world and a very impactful one at that. What is happening in our urban schools? What are our children being subjected to? I can answer that. Bullying and a lot of it.

            I just finished watching ‘CyberBully’ from ABC Family and it is one of the most impactful films on my life. It actually relates to my life in more ways than one because the victim was aspiring to be a journalist and she wrote poetry. She was a blonde haired, blue- eyed girl who had a successful and gracious life ahead of her and she nearly lost all of it because of words. Because she had no way out. Because of one person’s arrogant and narcissistic attitude towards her and who wanted to take revenge on her average life. She also had everything a normal girl would want and she felt she couldn’t enjoy her blessings because of other’s opinions and jealousy.

I was in the same boat. I had everything at my feet and I was aspiring to be a writer as well. I wanted to be a blogger and share my past experiences with the world and inspire others so that they could overcome any obstacle they faced in life. But, I wasn’t bullied because of social media or even through social media. I was bullied from a face-to-face value. It seemed as if whatever I did as an individual was not good enough for anybody and that I needed to be somebody else to be accepted by my colleagues. But, changing for others doesn’t do anything but make you look desperate. And now, that I look back on those turbulent times I can see that I had lost my way and that I wasn’t being true to who I was. Though most do not see this bullying can lead individuals down the wrong path and make them visualize a reality that doesn’t exist. It makes the victim blindsided by what is actually in front of them and it can sometimes get so bad that they don’t see who they really are. They see what the bullies and the world want them to see and feel about themselves. It’s sickening. It’s frightening. I’ve been there. But, that’s the main reason for this posting.

I never called attention to the bullying I witnessed because I was there myself and I didn’t think my words would speak volume. But, if the media didn’t care about these issues a movie like this one wouldn’t have been made and we wouldn’t hear stories of such magnitude in newspapers or on internet news sites. I am calling attention to it now that I have some empowerment to share from my experience. Bullies are cowards who use their insecurity to criticize others. Bullies can be anywhere and they can say anything they feel necessary to bring someone down. But the victims are stronger because they have the power to end it. They have the power to speak; they have a voice. And though sometimes voices are not heard, they are remembered by actions.

So the ruling class REALLY rules????

So the ruling class has degraded our society. That is what I am absorbing from this chapter and I truly do agree. We as a society follow the ruling class because we believe in what they say. A great example of this following is: American politics and capitalism. Let’s start with capitalism.

Capitalism is supposed to be a free-market system that allows companies whether small family-owned or massive corporations to come and go as they please and provide its workers with wages. But, it has flipped into what feels like a communist regime because corporations are taking over these small- family owned shops and becoming monopolies in many different markets. 1% of Americans are exceptionally wealthy and most of this 1% if not all of this wealth is from corporations and the rest is the middle class. The middle class of America is enormous and unfortunately, most of the middle class is sinking into poverty or below the poverty line because wages are being slashed, workers are being released from their duties, and corporations are taking over complete markets. This taking over markets also includes technology. Corporations believe they have the power to control the American people and they want to be able to change the face and path of our society by any means possible even if it means disrupting our privacy and defecting crucial regulations. But, American politics aren’t much better because it gives corporations the money and the opportunity for influence over the American public.

American politics are manipulative and destructive because it thrives on influence and power. This is a main reason why our technology is lacking boundaries and why regulation is not stable or protective in anyway. On page 217 of Digital Disconnect, it states “the reason for corruption is the policy-making process” (McChesney, 217) and the policy-making process is how our country regulates technology. The American political system wants to please the American public by making the right decisions and basically positioning themselves in our good graces. But, who are the politicians really serving? Corporations or their own self- interest? The politicians want to please the American public because they want to have influence with some of the most powerful people in the country they are ruling which are none other than the managers and CEOs of massive corporations. Once an alliance is made between these powerful beings anything can change and our power as a democratic society deflates almost to extinction. This is where regulation on technology comes in because corporations regardless of the ranking in their market want to have just as much influence as the politicians do. They want to be beloved by the people but behind closed doors controlling, too. Corporations are given influence through the government and through the piece of action they receive they can control the regulation of our technology and other assets of our daily lives. In our class discussion about Capitalism and the Internet, we discussed the influence corporations and the government has on the technology our society uses. We mentioned the fact of the government tapping our phones and placing GPS devices on our phones so they could investigate federal crimes and study any suspicious activities. How is this privacy again? Also, we supposedly live in a country of privilege and freedom but how do we have freedom to explore our world or have conversations with our peers if CEOs and politicians can see everything and they can do whatever they want but deny us the illegal freedoms they practice?

Morality? What morality?

Okay...umm what is our country coming to via moral standards? I checked AOL.com this afternoon and see stories of murder, bloodshed, drugs, and racism. What on earth is happening here? Students as young as 17 are participating in the 'devil's work' by performing gruesome and in some cases unheard of atrocities. In the 1950s the simple household was expected to be clean, orderly, and have a young, vivacious family living under its roof. What has happened in the last 50/ 60 years? I mean I understand some of America's struggles to get to this point. I mean I really do I've studied it myself.

But, just because struggles have happened in the past doesn't mean we need to dig old skeletons out of the closets and throw them at the nearest passersby. To support my argument, here is a link to Hillary Clinton's fumble on using a word to describe a skeleton of the past: http://www.aol.com/article/2016/04/14/sanders-calls-out-clinton-for-using-racist-term/21344590/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl20%7Csec1_lnk1%26pLid%3D-706118466

What do you think? I'm on the fence not because I'm a dog but because I am not backing behind a specific party. I'm Independent. I am simply stating my opinion of how it looks through my eyes. But I will state that some words should be left unsaid and there are points where opinions or phrases should be used in more appropriate situations. This would be the perfect example. An analogy to better understand this example is a bully who still has their prejudices of a person from his/ or her past and still calls them a name that he/ or her did back then. Is this right? Shouldn't this be stopped?

Journalism ceases to be dead!!!!

            When people say journalism is dead, they are bluffing. Journalism isn’t dead and will never be dead. How do I know? Because I am a journalist. I pursue the truth in everything I read and write. If there is faults in what I am given I dig even further through the information to find exactly what I am looking for.  Now here is some bigger questions: What is journalism? How do we define journalism?

            Well, I can answer both of those questions with flying colors. Journalism defines the past, describes the present, and predicts the future. Journalism is an individual’s words that define an era and that capture an audience’s imagination. Journalism is an art form that uses words to tell a story and with the word choice of the author the reader can visualize and understand different angles of a story. The next question is how do we define journalism? Well, before I answer that question let’s throw some words out there. News. Headline. Newspaper. Dateline. Rubbish. An Opinion. If one or all these words match your description of journalism then you would be right but wrong at the same time. Journalism is news because it describes and tells the reader what is happening around them. Journalism is a headline because a headline sums up what the whole story is about and the story is journalism. Journalism is a newspaper because a newspaper is a compilation of stories and these stories are journalism. Journalism is a dateline because it seals a story at a specific place, specific time, and tells about a specific person, place, or thing. Journalism is rubbish and an opinion. Journalism is what you make of it. Now to answer the question how do we define journalism? Like I said before Journalism is what you make of it. Depending on your background and how journalism has been brought into your life, it will shape the how the concept of journalism looks and affects you.  That is how I define journalism. Now does that mean journalism is dead? I say no.

            Journalism tells a story. This story defines a specific time and place. Journalism makes time freeze and allows the reader to learn about that period in time, but from a different point of view. Take my poetry for example, I make time freeze because I’m describing the thoughts and feelings I have at a specific point in time. My poetry will allow the reader to understand what was happening during that period of time and allow them to predict what may happen next. Because of my passion for writing journalism will never die because I am securing a story’s place in history. Without writing and language we cannot define our past, we can’t secure the present’s place in the past, and we can’t give promise to the future to become part of the past. So I stand concretely that journalism will never die. We make our own and with this blog I have made my own.