"Another day another dollar. Another day another poopy diaper. Another day I scream and mutter. Another day I beg for help....for this working mother. I clean and wash. I type and write. I sleep 4 hours. I think and fight. I work steady shifts. I'm paid by the hour. I've got no quarrel. I just need a shower. I live by my planner. I live for my child. I've buried my priorities. They've been there awhile. I pray for blessings. I give all I have. I save every penny made. To her on my behalf. Her presence is my joy. His presence is my soul. The future is my promise. To make it true and make it bold. So from these words you see I'm a working mother indeed. I know sacrifice. I know faith. I know love. I know fate. But here you will know what I have become through the blood, sweat, and tears that I've run."- Heather Searfoss, 12/29/2016
A working mother is someone who I idolized all my life. The person who I knew I wanted to grow up to become. As a child I witnessed what hard work was and how it would be a part of my future.
I don't remember asking my parents why they worked so late and I don't remember asking them why they looked so tired. I think I always knew. I do remember asking them though why do you do the jobs you do? Why are you a police officer? I'd ask my dad or why are you a nurse? I'd ask my mom and the simple answer I got was "because I want to help people, it's a job that I love, and it's provides for you and Kyle." Well, that settled anymore questions about their jobs really. It also got me thinking about what I wanted to become growing up. I envisioned a nurse like my mom or a storm chaser like on the weather channel......two professions I obviously didn't become.
When I got to high school I began to think of becoming a doctor, like the one who performed my spinal fusion in 2008, or to become a chef because I loved to cook, or to become a lawyer, a job that is scholarly, well-paid, and a safer complimentary alternative to my dad's law enforcement career. All seemed to be good options but then I was thrown the curveball that maybe I shouldn't attend college......maybe it was just a waste of time or maybe it may not get me to where I want to be. Well, my dreams and goals talked louder than that option so I blew it off and submitted my application to Penn State University, where I attended for 4.5 years and graduated with a Bachelor's Degree in Humanities majoring in Communications/PR. It was the most grueling, longest, toughest, most amazing, most valued, most memorable, most tearful, most aggravating 4.5 years of my life. Now that doesn't seem like fun but let me explain to you the facts of why it was like this. I took full class loads every semester even during one summer semester (which is 4+ classes, 12 credits+), I worked between 1-3 jobs throughout school saving up as much as I could and experiencing the joys of being young, I made and met so many amazing friends and people I can't count them all, and I was introduced to some of the most incredible, scholarly, innovative, and experienced professors I have ever met. 3 of my favorites in particular were Catherine McCormick (Photography, Writing for the Media, Media Management), Amy Sauertieg (Public Relations, Event Planning, and PR Strategies), and Richard Pierce (Psychology 101, Adolescent Psychology). I was also involved with fundraising events on campus such as Santa for Soldiers, Toys for Tots, and Alternative Spring Break, which were life-changing experiences because you truly realize how lucky you are. I also worked behind the scenes to apply for internships/ externships, write new poems/ short stories, publish my poetry and written works with local publishers, and start to plan out the publishing of my work in progress: In the Gladiator's Eye. Sound intimidating enough?
Well, this is all before and during my adventure of becoming a mother. It sounds so ridiculous but I did all of that with fate, criticism, and doubt going against me. I cracked under pressure a few times but let me tell you all the hellfire I faced was well worth it. I balanced jobs back and forth. I applied anywhere and everywhere I could. I admit I made quite a few mistakes, some I do regret but then again how did I end up where I am now? Through the turmoil I came out on top stronger than I was before, more confident, brighter, and curveball ready. Now you are probably asking yourself where does being a mother fit into this? Well, read what I wrote and imagine being pregnant with a baby, delivering that miracle, and having to face all of that tumultuous stuff. Does that answer your question? Simply it wasn't easy. At points it was fun and other points were like wishing you were 6 feet under ground at that exact moment. But, I promise you I am alive and well. But now I guess you are wondering where am I now?
Well, I am a recent graduate of Penn State University. May 8th, 2016 to be exact. (My daughter was born February 2016.) I am an employee of a government IT distributor and I am a social media wizard. I have my own blog : http://soccerxlspsu.blogspot.com/ and I have a professional Facebook page where I list and post my latest writings, articles, and poems. I am on the volunteer committee for the non-profit organization, The Peyton Walker Foundation, which brings awareness to sudden cardiac arrest and plans out the organizations fundraisers, heart screenings, and events for the upcoming year. I am about to be published in my 4th Best Poets of the Year (2011, 2012, 2013, and 2016) by Eber & Wein Publishing and I am currently working on 3 books that are works in progress that I plan to have published soon. I am a mother of a beautiful 10 month old baby girl and in my spare, rare time I run, I take photos, I read history books, I watch documentaries, and I listen to rock music. So you can definitely not say that I am lagging behind or that fate is not in my favor. I will counteract that and make everyone take a second look. If this hasn't done so, I'm sorry but you'd have to meet me in person to truly understand.
But like I said being a working mom has its ups and it's downs and sometimes it can make you go psychotic. But regardless of your mental stature I highly recommend that you do not and I repeat do not judge a mother that you see on the street regardless of what her age might be because you will and may never know or understand what she had to do to get to where she is today. Granted I didn't put details into this entry and no I didn't break the law. But I will tell you that I did sell some of my things and worked double, sometimes triple shifts, so that I could give my baby girl clothes and food. Though I was not a working mother who had to beg for money or beg for food or even go to the local well and bring a bucket of water back, I do however, understand the sacrifices needed for a mother to provide for a child and bring him/ or her a healthy life. A reality some can't comprehend but I'll leave that up to you to judge. In simple terms being a working mother is hard, it's exhausting, and it is one of life's greatest joys. It makes life worth living and it makes the memories all the more sweeter. So cheers to being a working mom!!!!!
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