I'm looking outside right now and the dreary, cold, raw air is not the only thing that chills my bones. It is not the fact that the sun barely shines it's heat this time of year, but merely the fact that millions of people live in poverty; sometimes so much so that clothes don't even cover their backs and that food does not reside in their stomachs. It is merely the thought of imagining a child and, even an adult struggling to bring comfort and joy into their homes and their life. The thought of asking for more and more troubles me, most of the time, because I have all I need and I want to give to those who don't. I grew up fortunate basking in the great luxuries that only a humble girl can understand.
I had a family, I built a family. I have food, now I give food. I was given money, now I save money.
Homelessness is not a fate I would wish on anybody, not even my worst enemy. It is a fate that is cruel, despicable, and revolting to my mind. I have seen homelessness at its worst and whenever I see a beggar on the streets I feel compelled to give even just a penny, a bottle of water, or to drive this individual to a restaurant so they can have a decent meal. My 11th grade history teacher taught me that. Always give what you can, do what you can to bring light to another.
Now, that sounds like I am preaching to the choir because most people say they are going to reach out when in reality they don't. In reality I counteract this because I have. I have been giving my old clothes to the Salvation Army for years and I donate my old toys and winter clothing to children. When I was in Newark, New Jersey in 2015 (one of the most dangerous and impoverished cities in the United States at the time) I saw homelessness as I never had before. On the trip we were split into two groups and my group interacted one-on-one with children. Unfortunately, some of the children we interacted with came from broken homes and some were actually homeless. My heart broke for them so I made sure that each child I interacted with was hugged, loved, and smiled.
During the same trip, we were allowed to visit New York City for one day and that changed my perspective of the homeless for eternity. As soon as my group got off the subway at the New York Station and we passed through the gates at the terminal, I saw it. I looked over to my right and there was an African American woman sleeping in what seemed like a multitude of ripped blankets surrounded by what looked like a cardboard fence. She had one backpack and her clothes were hung by a self-made laundry line. I was appalled that anybody could walk by and not help her. The scary thing was she looked my age, maybe even younger. I said to my group "I've never seen something like this before.....I've seen such things in movies but I never thought I would see the horror". I never thought I would see someone sleeping in a subway terminal and, worse, seeing numerous and, I mean numerous people walk by and not feel compelled to help or even showed a speck of compassion.
After we left the terminal we started to walk out on the streets of New York City. The surrounding atmosphere did little to excite me because that woman we passed was branded in my mind. Throughout our walk I saw beggars. I saw self-made tents of tarp and trash bags. I saw big flashy stores and expensive boutiques that my group wanted to explore and get the opportunity to rave on the latest fashions, but I wanted to spend the time helping those individuals I saw. I felt the need to find the nearest laptop and research the homelessness rates and the percentages of poverty within these cities I was visiting. I felt compelled to give all the change in my pocket to the nearest pair of stricken, starving eyes and buy him/ or her a soda or a cookie. Items that are common to us and luxuries to them. It affected me so much that it was impossible to sleep that night, though when I woke up the next day I made it seem like I was well-rested.
How can you sleep knowing that out there another human being is shivering in the cold? How can you sleep knowing that a child is digging in a dumpster somewhere looking for his/ or her dinner? How can you sleep knowing individuals are at risk for freezing to death every winter because they don't have the proper clothes or insulation to keep their bodies warm?
How can you sleep?
After that trip I made it one of my goals, one of my life passions to do all I could to help the needy and the homeless. I felt so guilty of asking for things when really I had ever thing I needed. I do splurge sometimes on myself getting a new shirt or a new piece of furniture, but it sure's heck doesn't come without a wave of guilt because like I said that women in the terminal is still branded in my mind. I don't know if she is dead or alive and I hope that she will be led to a better life and if I see her again before I die, I hope myself can bring her to a better sight than a terminal view.
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